Mindset Matters

Today didn’t go like I thought it would. This is how I woke up -  

I don’t want to do this. The night sweats, the stomach pains, the hunger and weakness, the body aches…I don’t want to do this. 

I laid in bed all morning to avoid getting up and feeling anything. Survival mode. I kept praying for patience, to get through these moments. 

I took it easy, on my body and on my mind. I drank small sips so that my stomach wouldn’t hurt. I took small steps so that my muscles wouldn’t ache. I didn’t practice piano, instead I just touched the keys and let something else come out. No pressure, no expectation. 

I managed to get outside and sweep some leaves off the deck. That was a huge accomplishment and a subtle reminder not to strive for perfection. Sweeping leaves in the fall feels like a futile effort, because inevitably the wind will bring it right back to you. Let that one leaf go, let that thing go that frustrates you, that holds you back from feeling so free. 

I found myself less miserable today than I thought I would be. Maybe it was just my mindset.