Cancer Conversations

This morning I took a special trip to Philadelphia to the Fox Chase Cancer Center. Thankfully it had nothing to do with my own condition, it was about helping others. Thanks to all of my supporters for the Stomp Out Cancer event, I was able to raise almost $4,000 toward the grand total of $18,357. This money will directly help patients pay for their medical bills and I’m so proud to have been a part of it!

After the photo op, I returned home and had lunch before my infusion. I am no longer receiving chemo treatments, but I still need infusions of herceptin and perjeta, two targeted antibody treatments for breast cancer. I will continue these infusions every three weeks for a whole year, ending in July 2023. 

I had two important conversations today, one with the oncologist and one with the thoracic surgeon. My oncologist was on the call last Friday when the breast surgeon presented my case. More than a dozen doctors discussed what this mediastinal mass could be and what should be done about it. They all agreed that I should continue with the lumpectomy, which is scheduled for this Monday. But they were also concerned about the mass. The oncologist does not think this is metastasized breast cancer, mainly because it does not spread in such ways (frighteningly that would make this stage 4), and also because it did not respond to the chemo with such a complete response the way the breast tumors did. However, without a biopsy, there is no way to know what the mass is and what to do next. The oncologist suggested perhaps the thoracic surgeon would do a biopsy. Unfortunately when I spoke with him, he said because of its location under the breast bone, a biopsy would be incredibly invasive and risky. So he recommended that I go through with the lumpectomy and make an appointment with him in a few weeks to discuss my options (which could be do nothing or have the major surgery to remove it). 

I don’t know what to say. I mean, as much as I didn’t want to have this major surgery cutting my chest open, I had resigned myself to it and was also relieved when I didn’t need it. But as I said, I was cautiously optimistic and now it looks like I may still need this surgery down the road, which is frustrating because I would rather have done it all at once rather than go back for a second turn on the operating table. There is no way to know what the mass is without taking it out, and I don’t know that I can run the risk of keeping it there for longer not knowing what it could do in the future (e.g. spread to other parts, etc.). I am trying to remain brave, fearless, and strong, but I’m scared for what’s next - the not knowing, the worry, the what-ifs. I keep praying for answers but also for peace to get through these feelings. Thank you for being there for me.