All Hallows’ Eve

When you work with little children, you quickly learn what is important to them. Since they come from different backgrounds and faith traditions, shared holidays are few, but the one all of the children love the most has to be Halloween. Wearing costumes and collecting candy is a top 3 activity for any five and six year old. So you have to get on the boat…and dress up…as a crayon…dressed as a bat.

Truthfully, it’s fun to share in their enthusiasm. And it’s a delightful reprieve knowing that tomorrow I will be in that chair one more time. To be honest, I haven’t given it much thought. Many people have said, “you must be so excited, it’s your last treatment!” but I can’t seem to respond with genuine enthusiasm. Maybe it’s because I know what comes next (surgery), maybe it’s because I know how I will feel for the next two weeks, maybe it’s because part of me fears I’ll have to do this again one day in the distant future, maybe it’s because these days I think a lot about the future while trying to enjoy the present.

So while Halloween was actually about praying for the saints and the dead, maybe you could spare a prayer for the living, to give me the permission to feel all of my feelings without apology, and to help give me the courage to get through this one more time. Thank you.