Post-Infusion #5

I couldn’t get out of bed this morning. The steroid had me up from 5 am, but I just couldn’t get myself out of bed until after 10 am! I was tired, very tired. I insisted that I would try to move today in the hopes that it would help me feel better. I decided to make a to do list. 

Best laid plans. I didn’t cross anything off the list. Instead I drank a protein drink and tried to watch tv but nothing could distract me enough from the aching stomach and fatigue. So I took a short nap. 

By then Dean arrived home early from school and I made a protein shake for us. That was my lunch. I worked on the puzzle with my mom and then it was time for my Neulasta shot so I walked to the doctor’s office. The fresh air felt good and the walk was helpful. But I was spent once I returned home. I made dinner for the kids and returned to the sofa, this time with some yogurt. It was just meh. 

Later I heated up some soup, which was also just meh. My taste buds have already turned and eating food has once again become a chore, something I would never have said, ever in my whole life. Everyone says this is a temporary condition, but if you’ve ever had a long-suffering pain (and I know some of you have), you know what a mind-screw it is, like you’re being crushed by a vice and no amount of “temporary condition” could help you feel better. You just keep suffering in that moment.

While I was finally able to cross one thing off my list, I also added in some movement before my shower - 20 squats, 20 push-ups, and 20 sit-ups. I chose 20 for a special reason…

Now I’m thoroughly exhausted and off to la-la-land…