In the Pit, Again

I get like this every few days. Sad. Like a sadness that washes over me and I feel like I'm drowning. When I wake up and still have double vision, my heart sinks and the sadness overwhelms me. I feel helpless and I just want to cry and scream from deep inside my chest, like a floodgate that's been shut tight, keeping back the waters, finally released. I'm tired from waking in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and the tiredness makes me vulnerable to my sadness. I'm just sitting here in the pit again, crying to get out. When am I getting out?