Survival Guide

Reading my last post, you’re probably wondering why I’m not eating anything else. Go for that savory dish, Laurie! Well, the dry mouth and taste alterations make everything feel and taste terrible. This morning I quickly shoveled a bowl of cereal into my mouth. I gagged at first, but held my breath, ignored the texture, chewed as fast as possible, and swallowed it down, even with the 3 teaspoons of sugar. It was like chewing sand and rocks, and tasted like it, too. 

The past couple of days my stomach has been really hurting, with lots of reflux and bloating. The medicine I’ve been taking hasn’t been working anymore. But good news, my new medicine arrived from Canada today. Yes, Canada. It’s no longer FDA approved for sale in the US, so I had to order it from our neighbors to the north. Is it safe? I hope so. I will begin the meds tomorrow. Am I scared of more side effects? You bet. Do I need to contend with more side effects? Sure don’t. Heart issues, dry mouth, well, the list of potential side effects is long, and if I told you all of them, you might run away. 

But I press on, because what choice do I have. I need to get better, like asap. Tomorrow I begin radiation, a daily dose for the month of February. Am I secretly hoping the radiation will make me slightly radioactive like Peter Parker and actually cure me of all that’s ailing me like some incredible super power? Yes, a little. I’m also trying to keep the following quote in mind as I ponder my purpose - will my life be a story of hope and healing for someone else? Maybe. I’m still waiting to overcome in my own story.