Radiation #1

I began the day by taking my new stomach medication. I said a prayer over the pill, begging for it to help me and not hurt me. I took two more later in the day, not sure if I feel anything just yet.

Today was my first day of radiation therapy, and I had the pleasure of Matt bringing me to this appointment.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but they told me it would be quick. First to the dressing room for my lovely pink gown. 

Once I was called inside the room, it was like entering a five-star hotel. Golden walls lead you around a corner to a massive room with a huge ($4 million) machine. I was instructed to lay down on the platform, much like my trial run. Then they had to find my tattoos and put me in the correct position. The technician explained that on the tv screen was a simulation of me (a much healthier looking computer version of me!) and they had to get me to the right coordinates for the machine to operate, so they would pull the sheet under me back and forth to get me into Goldilocks status. On the ceiling were beautiful light covers that were like cherry blossom trees with a blue sky and clouds. Finally they left the room and began the process. The machine moved around me like sentinels in the Matrix, scanning for movement and life. Then I would hear a high-pitched beeping sound that made you feel a little terrified inside. They told me I wouldn't feel anything, but I ALWAYS feel stuff...that's just me, enigma. It took longer than I thought it would; it turns out the doctor was just checking to make sure everything was looking good. They said tomorrow will be quicker. Today was #1 and I will be there every week day for the whole month of February, twenty sessions in total! Welcome to my new daily routine. 

Matt and I spent the rest of the day cuddled together, eating take-out (I just had some broth) and watching a movie. It was so nice to spend time with him, just the two of us, laughing, with no distractions. These days, I’ve been feeling sick most of the time and trying to recover, which has really put a damper on our time together. This felt like a very special day.

I’m also grateful that my friend wore this shirt for me today! That’s my goal in this life, to radiate love! Thank you for the love!