Head Spinning

Early mornings can feel hard, especially when you don’t sleep well. I was bloated and burping all night because I drank the high calorie drink and it just hasn't been settling well. I needed to get to radiation before my infusion appointment, so I was out the door by 7:20. This is what I look like during the procedure, but they wouldn’t take a picture of the machine so I’ve included a stock photo so you get a sense of the immense size of the radiation machine surrounding me. 

After my radiation session, I had my infusion appointment. That was a boatload of information and a lot to take in. The oncologist filled me in on the breast conference they had this morning. He met virtually with several other oncologists, breast surgeons, radiologists, pathologists, and even the thoracic surgeon. They discussed my very unusual case, why I have gastroparesis, what could be causing it, and what next steps should be. Even with all of that brain power, unfortunately I'm still a rare breed (pat on the back mom, you birthed a special one!). There were no conclusive answers, so I'm headed out into the field to hunt for more answers. My oncologist is sending me for a follow-up CT scan of my chest for the "thymoma", he is referring me to neurologists for further exploration, and he is sending me for a formal second opinion with top docs at Penn Medicine. I truly feel very blessed that he is going above and beyond to help me and connecting me with everyone and anyone who might have some clues as to why I'm struggling like this. There was great concern about my rapid weight loss, so he is also having me take a month off from my targeted therapy infusions, which worried me at first, but I'm settling into the idea. So I only got a hydration today. Next month I'll continue my treatments and begin new treatments as well, more on that another time. 

I came home with my head spinning. Lots more tests, lots more exploration, lots more doctor visits. Hopefully all of it means healing around the corner. And then I was encouraged by a beautiful message from a friend accompanied by these gorgeous flowers - 

Some brightness for you in the midst of the cold, gray winter. Just like Spring will return, so too will your physical strength and appetite.  

Thank you my friend for cheering me on and cheering me up! I needed this on such a cold, winter day. I'm so grateful for your thoughtfulness! And I pray it is so...

I've been taking the medicine for my stomach and it's been helping me feel a little better. I still can't eat very much, because I'm still slow to digest, and due to the dry mouth and taste changes...everything has to be a liquid, which I'm tired of, but I made an effort to come up with a new meal tonight - carrot pumpkin garlic ginger puree. I ate maybe a quarter of it, but small bites can fill a belly...eventually.