Faith

Sometimes people come into your life to share a message with you when you need it most. I took my mom to the coffee shop to get some tea (none for me thanks), and to get out of the house. My stomach was hurting since last night much more than usual. 

One woman I’ve known for a while spoke to me about having faith, about believing in God, and trusting Him through all of this. She told me to say it, to vocalize it out loud each day, to tell God “I have faith, I believe.”

Then another woman I met recently came to minister to me next. She talked about how horses have blinders on to keep them from getting spooked and to keep them on the right path. She said I need to know that God has a purpose for me, this is why I’m alive, and to believe in that purpose, to stay on that path with focus and determination. 

So why should I worry? I can’t add a single hour to my life if I worry. And if God can give food to the birds, how much more will He care for me? 

My faith has no doubt wavered during this trying time. Sometimes we just need some gentle reminders of the purpose of our faith. I’m not going to selfishly pray to get better because I believe that God is like a magician who can deliver miracles simply because I ask Him, but if I believe that I have a purpose, then in faith I should be able to ask for the help I need to get through this, to fulfill my purpose. Unless my purpose right now is to suffer… 

I’ll keep wrestling with this one…