Discharge Day!

I had a horrible night of sleep. I was vomiting from 2:30 in the morning and have been up since then. The lunch I ate did not settle well and was torturing me all night and all today. 

The good news was the chest X-ray showed improvement so they felt comfortable to release me. The additional day of oxygen helped my progress. But I felt waylaid by this stupid vomiting. Nevertheless I gathered myself together for the hour drive home. Matt was my knight in shining armor, staying with me for two nights in the hospital and driving me home safely. 

I am finally back home in my chair, getting kitty therapy, and tending to my battle wounds. 

Recovery Day 2

I had another decent night of sleep, thankfully. I woke up at sunrise to use the bathroom and the doctors came to see me right away to assess my pain. I said I was more sore than usual and the doctor said that’s because they gave me a nerve block in the OR and it’s starting to wear off. What?? Oh well that explains a lot! That’s why I felt like I fell off the back of a truck when I got out of bed. So now I really need to keep on top of my pain meds. In fact she said I should set an alarm for the middle of the night so that I don’t miss a dose.

Then I asked about my chest X-ray and what the results meant. Turns out I have a small pneumothorax, some air outside my lung. So they scheduled another X-ray and put me on oxygen, and scheduled another X-ray. 

After the second X-ray, it looks like it’s still there but it hasn’t gotten larger, so that’s good news. But it means I need to stay in the hospital for one more night for monitoring. I’m ok with that, better to be safe than sorry.  But hopefully tomorrow I can return home safely. 

Recovery Day 1

I managed to get a few hours of sleep last night, which was such a blessing. I felt refreshed and in less pain, which was an even bigger blessing. 

Today I got my drainage tube removed, which is great news because it means I can be discharged tomorrow. I’m a little nervous to have this hole in my side but I’ll have to manage. It could be way worse. Now I have three holes in my side, two of them are stitched up. 

I also met with the physical therapist today who took me for a walk and encouraged more movement. When I returned to my room, I sat in the chair instead. 

After three solid meals and three walks down the hall, I’m feeling much better than I thought I would. I was so apprehensive before the surgery that I would be in extreme pain because I don’t heal well and after my lumpectomy, I was in so much pain and it took me several weeks to begin to feel better, so I thought this would be a repeat. But so far I’m in far less pain than I thought I would be and have even needed less pain relievers, too. I still need to take it easy, but I’m still so pleased at how far I’ve been able to go thus far. I was even encouraged by the rainbow outside my window!

Surgery Day

I began the day before 4 am, and was on the road to Philadelphia by 4:30.  My parents took such good care of me. 

My mindset was so very different this time around. Last time I was weak and sick and scared. This time around I felt stronger and mentally ready to walk into this. And I literally did, I walked right into the operating room and got settled down for the surgery. I was so elated when I woke up, grateful to God that I made it through. The first thing I did was feel my sternum, to see if the surgeon had to cut into me. Thankfully he didn’t, he did just the robotic surgery and now I have the scars to prove it. 

Now comes the difficult part, the recovery. I’m in plenty of pain right now, but I’m praying I can get through it, one moment at a time, with a positive attitude, some gentle painkillers, and time. Thank you for all of your prayers and support, you sustained me. I’m forever grateful. 

Down to the Wire

Today was the day to tie up loose ends. I filled out my advanced directive (living will), I completed four homework assignments, and I packed my hospital bag.

But I also made time for some fun stuff, like cuddling on the bed with my son, and having a delicious lunch with my aunt.

And visiting the garden one more time...and while the weeds were five feet tall, I managed to harvest some goodies!

Now I can get to bed and be ready for the morning drive to Philadelphia. Thank you to everyone who messaged me that they were praying for me. I need it now more than ever. God be with you, too! 

Fitting It All In

It’s amazing what a year can bring. This time last year I had just completed my first round of chemotherapy. I was also recovering from slicing off a piece of my pinky finger with my kitchen mandolin! Now here I am, a year later, cancer-free, with a few scars here and there, but feeling stronger by the day. I didn’t think it would take this long to get here, but such is life. Now I’m getting ready for the next phase, a new surgery, and more recovery. So I’m fitting it all in while I can. I had to say goodbye to my sister today, but it was such a joy to have her here and to be able to spend such valuable time with her. 

Tomorrow I’m down to the wire. I have to pack a hospital bag and get all my ducks in order before the big day on Friday. Busy busy here I come. 

The Most Fun

We had no specific plans, but the day turned out great. We started with waffles, watched tv, ate spaghetti, went to the pool, walked for bubble tea, had pizza bagels and popcorn, and watched a cute cartoon movie! When you haven’t seen your sister in a few years, it’s the normal things together that are the most fun. I’m so glad she’s here! 

Sisterly Love

I spent the whole day studying, trying to get as much done as I could so I could be free to spend time with one of my favorite people! 

My sister has come to visit me and her timing is perfect. I’m so thrilled to see her and spend time with her. She finally arrived this evening and we bonded right away! Cuddles! 

Who knows what adventuring we’ll get into tomorrow. 

TMI

I was telling Matt last night that I was so elated to be able to write about good news on my blog. It felt like it was months of grim news, it finally felt good to write about positive things happening in my life. 

And then… I woke up at 3:30 am and I just couldn’t make it to the bathroom on time. It was like a horror movie! I spent the next 45 minutes on my hands and knees bleaching my poo out of every grout line in the tile floor. 

TMI (too much information). I know, I’m sorry. 

Yes,  today was a true rest day. The salad I made for myself yesterday did not land well and I’m paying the price today with regular visits to the bathroom. 

I took a moment outside to soak up some healing vitamin D. I didn’t want this to be a repeat of a month ago, so I’m trying to bounce out of this quickly. Here’s to digestive healing! 

Amusement and Celebration

Today I met a woman I haven’t seen in about a year, and when I told her I had been busy with breast cancer treatments, she confessed that she too had had breast cancer in 2020! She shared with me her horrible ordeal of a double mastectomy and chemo treatments all during the pandemic. She then asked me how I celebrated everything being over and I confessed that I still have two more infusions, but also that my life kept getting turned upside down with all these other illnesses like gastroparesis and myasthenia gravis, so I haven’t been able to celebrate much of anything. 

But things are turning around. The trip to Washington DC was just the tipping point. This evening we went to the Burlington County Farm Fair. It’s one of my favorite summer activities and we try to go every year. However last year, it fell on the week of my first chemo treatment so I didn’t make it, and that was how my year turned out for me…missing out on lots of things that bring me joy. But not this year. Things are turning around! And we had a blast! We went on more rides this year than ever before! We had so much fun and I couldn’t be happier - so I guess I should’ve told that woman this morning, actually I’m in the midst of celebrating life, each and every day! 

Home Sweet Home

What a lovely trip! We had a safe drive home filled with music and conversation. But nobody loves being back home more than the kids. The boy missed his computer and the girl missed her peaceful room. This trip gave me some great motivation and energy to do more things. It showed me that I’m capable of so much more right now. So I’m moving back upstairs to my regular life, getting dressed upstairs, brushing my teeth upstairs. I know that next Friday is my surgery and I will return home in a weakened state and be relegated to the recliner and downstairs bathroom again, but for now, for the next week, I’ll just go back to normal, the normal I’ve been craving for months, and hopefully it’ll give me the incentive to bounce back from this surgery better than I’ve been for a long while. Here’s to hoping beyond hope in my home sweet home. 

A Capital Day

From the Botanic Garden, past the Capitol, across the National Mall to the African American Museum, and down to the Wharf - we walked over six miles today! I can’t believe how much I was able to do. We saw so many wonderful things and made some wonderful memories. 

My body will enjoy recovering in bed this evening! I’m so happy to be on this trip with my family! 

Road Trip

So much of my life has been put on hold because of breast cancer, gastroparesis, and myasthenia gravis. And that means that much has been put on hold for my family as well. We couldn’t let the summer go by without giving the kids a fun trip, so we decided to take a road trip to Washington DC! 

I walked almost 5 miles and needed a nap, but I was able to do so much more than I thought I could. I will try not to overdo it while still enjoying my time with my family. I’m just so happy to be making memories together! 

Weekend Vibes

I spent most of the day on Saturday doing school work. My studies have been very challenging lately and consuming a lot of brain power. My midterms left me feeling a little down, but also more determined to try and do better, so I’ve been giving it some extra energy. 

Then last night I slept in my bed for the first time in over a month (not including that one fail). And I’m pleased to say that it went well. It wasn’t perfect, I had a little soreness from this new sleeping position but it didn’t leave me running back to my chair, so overall I’d call it a win. I also haven’t been retching and heaving in several days so that leaves me feeling a little bit stronger on the whole. 

I’m feeling generally optimistic these days and that’s a good thing. I’ve been hesitant to enjoy myself because it feels like a slippery slope. But I was able to eat a couple of slices of pizza and go out for ice cream with my family. These are all great things and they make me happy. I’m slowly getting stronger and doing more and that brings me joy. 

Another Infusion

My time in the infusion chair is dwindling down. I only have two more left after today. That is a major chunk of my breast cancer treatment over (not including the 10 years of pills!). It’s bittersweet of course because it becomes such a part of your routine and self-care. But it’s just a launching pad into a new life for me. 

So I will sit here and enjoy this moment, with the heated seat and crocheted blanket. I’ll take a nap and relax, hoping that I don’t ever have to return to these seats again. 

Cats and Computers

Was it really 93 degrees outside today? I wouldn’t know…I didn’t go outside. My stomach was queasy most of the day so I stayed indoors, studying for a quiz. And the cats kept me company, too. I finally felt better after dinner, thankfully. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much more productive and better feeling day. 

The Highs and Lows

You would’ve thought yesterday was a low because I was visiting my cousin in the hospital, but in fact I took the day for a high because it was the most I’ve been able to do in over a month. This time last month I was in the hospital myself! Now here I was taking a long drive with my mom, walking into the hospital building, and spending time with family. This was huge. Just two weeks ago I couldn’t even walk to the back of my doctor’s office without a wheelchair! 

I was so proud of how much I had moved, and was telling Matt I could see how much progress I’ve made, and maybe it’s a sign of me being able to do more…

But then today, despite getting very good sleep, my stomach felt less than stellar after breakfast. My food just didn’t want to go down, so instead it decided to come up. Apparently that was the path of least resistance (trust me, I tried to resist!). I had a decent lunch but still felt unsettled. I even made dinner for the family, my first foray back into cooking! 

I was so excited to go to the pool with the kids this evening but felt gradually worse and just ended up staying home. Now my ear hurts and my stomach feels tight. So much for the high yesterday. Now I’m back down low. 

Haircut Time

I’ve been extending my haircuts while growing out my hair, but it’s gotten a bit out of control. So I went today to get my hair trimmed and it feels fresh now. 

Thank you Theresa for making me feel beautiful again. 

Best Not Ventured

I did what I said I would do, I ventured upstairs to sleep in my bed. I was optimistic about it because the air conditioning upstairs put me at ease and I felt comfortable. However, just a few hours later, after I had fallen into a deep sleep, I woke up to my limbs screaming in pain. My muscles were locked in a position and I had to scream through the pain to stretch out of it. Once I recovered and rearranged myself, I fell back to sleep only to wake again, frozen in the same position. I was sweating and drooling all over my pillow. This was my modus operandi for the next few hours. I finally woke at 6am to use the bathroom and came back to bed only to start heaving again. I was exhausted from the lack of sleep, vomiting, and muscle pain that I fell back to sleep. The rest of the day followed suit…I struggled to eat, I struggled to use the bathroom, I struggled to think clearly. 

So tonight, it’s back in the chair, hopeful for a peaceful night’s sleep and no heaving in the morning. One can only hope. 

 

A Little Dip

Some days I can only think of myself and complain about my own woes. But I can’t forget that I have a family and they have needs too. Yesterday was all about my boy. He got braces on and that’s a huge shift for an eleven year old. Now comes the pain and adjustment. 

Today I made the long, long, long trek to Philly for my surgery pre-op appointment. It took almost 3 hours to get there this time, the traffic was horrendous! Here’s William Penn turning his back on us in our time of need.

Some quick bloodwork and an hour ride back home! We took advantage of the hot weather and made our way to the pool. What a refreshing time! I forgot how wonderful it feels to float in a pool. The weightlessness takes away the aches and pains of the body and makes you feel whole again. The cool water takes away the heat and humidity. And the smiles on the kids’ faces washes away the worries of life. 

It was a long day and a hot day, but overall a pretty nice day. Maybe tonight I can venture back to my bed and sleep upstairs. 

The 4th

I woke up early this morning to some vomiting. My stomach was quite full from dinner and while I slept ok, I woke up with a headache which made me nauseous and led to the vomiting. I stayed in my chair most of the day in order to keep still and not shake my head. I don’t want to take any other medicine so I nursed my headache with fluids and an ice cap. 

Finally by the evening I felt well enough to join the family for another movie night! You guessed it, Indiana Jones! And my friend sent the perfect message for today!

Your timing was impeccable! Thanks!

After dinner the kids went outside for some sparkler fun! 

Plodding Along

I tried to move a little bit more yesterday. I ventured outside to catch some vitamin D, but I couldn’t take the heat for very long and went back to my chair and my fan.  

Then I drove yesterday for the first time in a month! Just to pick up some bubble tea but it was worth the effort. My double vision has been slowly improving. I can’t say for sure why…even the optometrist said he was surprised it was so stable for so long because MG has a way of fluctuating, but mine just didn’t want to I guess. I will take what I can get right now!

And then we returned home for another fun movie night! We’re starting the Indiana Jones series with the kids. Popcorn and bubble tea - that was my dinner! Well, my stomach didn’t completely like the idea, so I slept in my chair another night. 

Today was a long day of studying for a midterm exam - it took me two hours to complete the exam!! I’m wiped! Off to bed soon!

Movie Night

It really sucks to have one good day and then to have two not so great days. I get excited when I start to feel better…but then I don’t. Friday and today my stomach was a little queasy after breakfast. I just didn’t have the strength to do much of anything outside of my chair. I didn’t even want to leave the house. I just studied for school and watched videos all day. It’s a good distraction when I don’t feel well. Finally this evening I made my way to the living room and watched a movie with the family for the first time in months. That was a sweet treat for me. I hope to have more times like this, especially since I’ve been missing out on a lot these days, like outings and activities. Here’s to hoping for more good days ahead.