Yay!

I spent the morning lingering in bed. I keep chasing after that ever elusive quality night’s sleep, in the hopes that I’ll wake up brand new again. It doesn’t happen. Instead I wake up just a little bit more bitter than the morning before. But still grateful that I get to give this thing called like another try, no matter how taxing it can be.

I went out for a walk and lunch with my mom. I really had to push myself to take those steps. What used to be my favorite activity has now become a challenge for me. When I returned home, I took a decent nap on the sofa with the cats. 

This evening I finally made it my son’s orchestra concert. Last spring I couldn’t go because I was working. In the fall I couldn’t go because of my surgery. With all the strength I could muster, even though I was sweating bullets, worried about peeing myself, concerned I could get sick being around so many people, nonetheless, I made it. Something as simple as a family outing for just an hour has become a challenge for me. So many things cross my mind, daring me to engage in any activity at all outside of the house. That was never me before. I was always the first one at the door daring everyone to follow me. Now I feel like a letdown. 

But I swallow that guilt because today I spent time with my family, and I took a walk outside. These are the things, at the bare minimum, I can hope to accomplish, and I did. Yay for life!