One Year!

I finally made it home today!! After five days in the hospital, I finally returned to my creature comforts, my kitties, my family! Don’t get me wrong, I can barely take 10 steps without getting winded and falling over, but I’m home nonetheless. This is going to be a LONG journey out of this hole, I don’t even want to imagine how long it will take. I was reading my blog posts from December and January and seeing the baby baby steps I had to take just to get well back then. I’m back in that space again, fighting for my health and my life. It’s SO scary, I thought it was all behind me. I was very wrong. 

Speaking of behind me, today is one year since I found out I had breast cancer! I’m reposting from that date as a refresher. How life has shifted and changed since then. If I could have foreseen all that were to happen to me in this one year, I wouldn’t have been so devastated about breast cancer. I’d be weeping over gastroparesis and myasthenia gravis. These have been far more devastating to me, unfortunately. But I press on, because I need to live. And I garner your prayers because I so desperately need them; I thank you! 

It was on June 13th, as I sat down at work to eat my lunch that I checked my email and realized the results came in.  I opened the report and couldn't understand it.  All I saw was "invasive ductal carcinoma"...what?  I googled it.  Breast cancer.  Very common.  High survival rate.  What??  I tried to call Matt but he didn't answer.  I ran into my boss's office and burst into tears.  It made no sense.  The whole thing didn't make any sense at all.  I was having an out of body experience.

I finally spoke with Matt.  I will never forget the shock on his face.  It still made no sense.  Then I spoke to my parents.  My mother cried and cried.  No sense at all.  

I stayed at work because it was our class party and what better way to distract yourself than to hang out with children. We were writing on each other's shirts and one girl did this  

She had no idea that she was tracing her hand, in pink, over that same spot.  I was touched.