Hospital Stay #3

I never thought in a million years I would be here. I mean, I knew I would be in the hospital after my surgery, but I never thought I would be hospitalized like this, ever. The doctor is not ready to release me because I continue to vomit. I am staying one more night. 

I thought that my diagnosis with breast cancer was going to shake up my whole world. I had no idea what was ahead of me. I tell Matt that it’s like I got pushed down a flight of stairs, except that when I get to the bottom, it’s not a landing but another set of stairs. I imagine myself falling down the stairs in M.C. Escher’s “Relativity” where there is no gravity and I will just keep falling up and down and all around. 

I really need it to stop though. I don’t want to be one of God’s chosen ones, I don’t want to be special and handpicked for this occasion anymore. I want to be left in peace and health, back with my family, living a normal life again, before all of this hellfire came down to rain on me.