Recovery Day 3

I ask myself how many recovery days will I have? Today was a tough day. I was hoping the healing was speeding along, but today was somehow harder. I didn’t take any Tylenol during the day like yesterday to see how I could manage. But my body had been bracing itself for too many hours and it finally gave up…my muscles ached in my neck, shoulders, and back, which gave me a headache most of the day. And of course there’s pain in the incision and the numbness is still under my arm. 

I had a lot of time to think today, though. I thought about my stepmother, who has helped care for my dad for over 30 years after he had a life-changing accident. She didn’t ask for that role, and I couldn’t help but think of Matt, because he didn’t ask for the role of caregiver either, and yet here they are, loving us unconditionally through this messy life. Not to mention my parents, of course, who carry such a great burden in caring for me. I have no words. 

I thought about my daughter, who mentioned to her teacher on Monday that she was nervous for my surgery and that she was wearing a necklace to think of me, which prompted the teacher to call and check up on me. I was blown away by her generosity of spirit to see if there was anything she could do for us, someone outside of our friend/family circle reaching out to support our child…what a blessing! And for my daughter to write this beautiful message of thankfulness for her classroom bulletin board. I’m overwhelmed. 

I took a hot shower to ease the pain in my body and retreated to my sleeping space. It’s given me peace of mind to have this quiet space at night to get away, sort of like a healing staycation, where I can figuratively lick my wounds and work on getting myself better without burdening anyone else. This is me, from behind closed doors, bearing my soul and praying for healing.