One Month

Today is one month since my surgery. I’ve never had surgery before so I’m not sure how this is supposed to go. My wounds are slowly healing, although I still have a stitch or two sticking out that I’m hoping will dissolve eventually. This is what I see in the mirror each day. 

Thankfully because of physical therapy I have some decent range of motion and the swelling has gone down. I can even sleep on that side, with only small twinges of pain at night.

But one month in and I still don’t know how to feel. And I think my post yesterday worried people, like something is wrong with me. Well, yes, kind of. And those words - mental health - are buzz words now, but I come from Gen X, we’re the smallest (but frankly the strongest) generation, and mental health care was not accessible like it is now - we were the first real latch key generation, left to our own devices with working parents and had to forge our own paths…and so mental health care was a “get over it” kind of situation (not to mention the cultural baggage associated with needing help). So when I faced depression my first couple of years in college, I had to manage somehow, and I got through it. But now I understand better that there are people to talk to who can help me process, especially when you’re going through stuff, and boy am I going through some stuff. So please just bear with me…I’m processing this complete upheaval of my life, and while I’m putting the pieces back together, I might sound a little sad sometimes. I’m sure I’ll be ok.