Enigma

I'll never forget that time in high school calculus class.  My teacher was giving each student a name based on rules in calculus. One student was tangent, another student was cosine, another was L'Hopital. The teacher looked at me, paused for a second, and called me enigma. I didn't fully know what that meant at the time, but I see now that the enigma or existential quantification means "there is at least one" and that's been the story of my life...it doesn't happen to everyone, but there is at least one, and it's usually me. Like the time I spent four hours in the ER because the doctor was worried it was my gallbladder that was giving me such intense pain in my side. Nope, just a pulled muscle apparently. 

I woke up very early this morning with a headache and stomach ache.  I spent time with Dr. Google, explaining my symptoms in detail, and I came to the conclusion that it all adds up to severe reflux - the stomach pains and bloat, the full feeling, the sore throat, the jaw/teeth pain, the headaches, the tight chest - it turns out in rarer cases (yep, that's me) that reflux even affects the eyes causing dry eye, swelling, and clogged tear ducts (did I mention that when I cried last night, nothing came out of my eyes?!).  So I got out of bed, drank some baking soda with water, and took a nap in my recliner. I felt better, enough to warrant at least eating a banana. I went to my physical therapy appointment and retreated back to my sofa to rest, but the stomach pain continued. Finally when I couldn't take the hunger any more, I ate a slice of toast with a scrambled egg. 

Fast forward to this evening. Sitting on the sofa, watching TV, when all of a sudden I got that taste in my mouth, you know, that metallic taste that means you better run.  Straight to the bathroom, and I vomited everything... yes, everything from the whole day, and maybe from the day before. Six rounds of chemo and I never threw up once... why now?  Enigma.  Where did the reflux come from?  Enigma.  When will it go away?  I don't know.  

Tomorrow I get another echocardiogram, praying that my heart is still strong. My spirit is feeling a little battered at the moment, just trying to keep my head up. 

More pet therapy needed.