Seesaw

I had an appointment on Friday with my oncologist. He said my bloodwork was looking good except for my red blood count looking a little low. I explained to him that I went back to work, and he was taken aback when I explained that I am a kindergarten teacher. He proceeded to tell me that when people going through treatments ask if they can go back to work, he says it depends on the type of work. Sitting behind a computer might be fine, but being a kindergarten teacher is something completely different! Really?? You use my job as an example of what not to do?? He actually does! We had a great chuckle about it! But truly it’s remarkable. I have had an immense amount of energy these days, much more than I could’ve hoped for, considering I’m standing most of the day and repeat myself a million times to 20 tiny humans! 

All of that will change next week. Another treatment is around the corner and the seesaw will flip. I will be relegated once again to the sofa, in pain, with nothing to eat. This well of energy will dry up and I will be struggle to do simple tasks again. I remind myself it’s temporary but when you’re struggling through something it’s hard. If I were stranded in the middle of the ocean, telling me I will get to land soon doesn’t make up for the sunburn, thirst, and ache for food. I see the land now that I’m at the top of the seesaw, but when I fall back down, I only have hope and faith, everything else is out of sight. 

I used my boundless energy this evening to help make Back to School night a success. 

I promise you, I am finding the beauty in all of this, as hard as it is. Better a handful of orchid flowers than a handful of hair I think.