Tiny Humans

I’m not sure what I thought I was waking up to today. I set that alarm for the crack of dawn and got dressed, ready to teach tiny humans for the first time since my diagnosis. I found out the last week of school and here it is the first week of a new year. So much has happened in the past few months - the tests, the treatments, the ups and downs.

With the little energy I had from not eating, I dove into the day. I managed much better physically than I had hoped. I was running on adrenaline and fumes I think. However emotionally I went through the ringer. The day was a challenge, it was down-right hard. It left me drained…and introspective. I couldn’t help but feel the stress washing over me and that scared me. For all of my self-care these last couple of months and trying to heal, I was frightened at how the stress would manifest itself in my body. Could I fight cancer while fighting to be at peace? How do I take care of my needs in the most self-sacrificing role? Where am I supposed to draw the line? I’m left not knowing what it means, which leaves me a little uncomfortable, but I’ll keep digging…